The Spoonykipper Story

I guess seven years is not an easy thing to forget. However much I try to forget, at some point out of nowhere *bam!* I'm thinking about her again. It's always the normal things (how is she doing, could we have made it work, does she think of me etc). It gets me down as well because if she's still on my mind am i really over her, if I'm not am I using my g/f? I mean I feel things for my g/f but they keep coming and going......Sometimes I wonder if I could love her but whenever i start to feel sometimes and think it could be that it goes again. Could I be scared of getting hurt again? Am I just scared that if I do love her that means I am over my ex and she is gone? Well to her I'm gone already but am I ready to let go? Why am I even holding on if I am? I even ending up writing a poem the other day due to it:

Love Lost

She haunts my memories of a time past,
however much I move on and try to forget,
she come out of nowhere and pulls me back,
now I'm here with her chasing my thoughts.

She's left me with question that will go unanswered,
sometimes I think they will drive me mad,
could we have done more?
could we have made it last?
but alas it is too late now.

So I'm left with these thoughts haunting me,
wondering if she ever thinks of me,
but however much I think and miss of her,
she's gone from my life and it hurts me so.

Now with nothing left of those years spent together,
but the memories of a love I lost.



So as the title says for this entry of my blog, I'm confused! I hope I get my head sorted out I don't want to be messing my g/f around as she is a lovely girl. I spent the other day helping her with an outfit for court (she's studying law) and I pick out something professional for her to wear heh.

Apart from that, lets see what else is going on:

I still have no idea how long we have left at work before they hand out the notices.

I'm still waiting on the open evening to go see about my course.

I don't have long left till round two of my driving test.

It was my friends birthday and today! (yes he is an April fool) I got him a LCD TV heh. Now he can play on his 360 as he has a spare TV! Also in funky HD. He should be down here in about two weeks YAY! So i'll be dragging his ass out and getting him drunk!

I have been helping another friend. She...well something bad happened and she has been depressed. I've been trying to cheer her up and keep her busy so she doesn't worry to much or think of the bad stuff.

It was Andrew's birthday at work (who is also an FF fan). People choice me to do his collection and pick his prezzie, so I got him a plush moogle and a mini FF sword collection. We're going out tomorrow for drinks for his birthday as we're all off for four days now! Yay!

Well thats it for now ^^

Happy Easter everyone (a little early).